


The Only One

by golden_gardenias



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 04:32:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2095899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_gardenias/pseuds/golden_gardenias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin has one of his post-bashing nightmares, and Brian is the only one who can help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Only One

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this in february after i did a rewatch of the series. when justin confronts chris hobbs with cody in season four, he says that he had nightmares for two years (i think), so this happened.

_It’s dark.  Everything is dark here._

_He can hear a voice, high-pitched and desperate, talking to someone._

_Brian.  It’s always Brian._

_“Please, you have to hurry!  Fuck, he’s bleeding so much...”_

_Bleeding?  He can feel something warm and wet on his face, but it’s not blood, is it?_

_“Justin, Justin, can you hear me?  Oh God, please!  Just stay with me, alright?”_

_Brian, don’t you know I’d never leave you?  I’m fine, just calm down._

_He opens his eyes, but he’s not in Brian’s arms like he expected to be.  He’s up above, watching Brian sob and clutch his limp body._

_Just as he realizes what’s going on, something pulls him back, away from the scene._

_“No, what are you doing?  Stop, leave me alone!  I don’t want to go!” He fights frantically at the force dragging him into the darkness.  “I won’t leave him!  No!”  He’s farther and farther away from Brian, the light of the parking garage fading rapidly.  “Brian!  BRIAN!”_

***

Justin’s screams jolt Ethan awake.

Justin is thrashing violently, fighting brutally against some unknown, unseen force.  “Justin?” he whispers softly.  His screams turn into wails, and Ethan can see the tears leaking from his eyes.  “Justin!” he calls louder, distressed.  He presses his hand to Justin’s shoulder, but the small contact makes Justin scream louder than before and roll away from him.

Panicked, Ethan runs to the bathroom to get their phone, Justin’s cries following him there.  She didn’t answer the first call, but he dialled again, needing to talk to her.

“Do you have any idea what fucking time it is?”

“Daphne!  Oh my God, Daphne, you have to help me.”  Ethan said, relieved.

“Ethan?  What’s all that noise?” she asked.

“It’s Justin.  He’s having a nightmare or something, and I can’t wake him up!”

“Oh shit!” she swore, jumping out of bed.  “Don’t worry, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she assured, throwing clothes on.

Ethan breathed a sigh of relief.  “Thank you, Daphne, thank you so much!”

She’d already hung up.

Daphne raced to her car in her socks, knowing that at the moment, there was nothing that could stop her from getting her friend the help he needed.

She headed to Brian’s loft, hoping he wasn’t too drunk or high to understand the gravity of the situation.

She reached the loft in record time, pulled up to the curb, and jumped out, not even bothering to close her door.  She buzzed for the top floor, hoping he was up and could let her in.

After what felt like hours frantically pressing the button, Brian’s angry voice cut through the speaker.  “Who the fuck is this and what the fuck do you want?”

“Brian, thank God!  It’s me, Daphne.”

“Daphne?  What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Please, it’s Justin, he needs your help.”

He could hear it in her desperate voice; something was wrong.  Something was very, very wrong.

He pulled on some jeans, a black wifebeater, and his prized Hugo Boss jacket, completely forgoing shoes and rushing out of his loft barefoot.  Not having the patience for the elevator, he thundered down the stairs, heart racing.  All kinds of thoughts were running through his head; a car accident, a mugging, a home invasion--

At his new home with the fiddler.

The thought stopped him for a second; what can Brian possibly do for him?  He’s with the fiddler now, why can’t _he_ help him?

He can see Daphne outside, and she bangs on the door, yelling at him.  “Come on Brian, hurry!”

If Daphne thought that Brian was the only one that could help Justin, then that was good enough for him.

“What happened?” he asked as he burst through the door.  “Is he hurt?”  He followed Daphne to her car, noticing idly that she wasn’t wearing shoes either.

“He’s having a nightmare, he’s not waking up.”

_Oh God, not again._

“Well then what the fuck are we sitting here for?  Drive!” he commanded.

 

When they arrived at Ethan’s apartment, it was worse than it had been when Daphne had first gotten the call.

Justin was on the floor, tangled in his blankets, sobbing uncontrollably.

Brian stopped in the doorway; Justin had never gotten this bad.  He turned angrily to Ethan.  “What the fuck did you do to him?” he asked, voice low and dangerous.

Ethan went on the defensive.  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I picked him up,” Daphne answered.  After glaring at each other for a few seconds, Brian and Ethan made their way over to Justin.

“Stay back,” Brian commanded.

Ethan opened his mouth to protest, but Brian silenced him with a look.

Justin’s sobs rang through the room, and Brian approached him cautiously, with the care and consideration one uses when approaching a wounded animal.

“Justin,” he said softly.

Justin didn’t seem to hear him, still bawling.  Brian placed his hand lightly on the top of his head.  “Hey,” he whispered, guiding his fingers through his silky blond locks.  The movement seemed to calm him, and he whimpered.

“Shh,” Brian said, bending down.  “It’s alright, Sunshine.  You’re safe now; nothing’s going to happen to you.”

Brian maneuvered himself behind Justin, wrapping his arms around him.  “You’re fine,” he whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek.

Justin began hyperventilating, and Brian placed his hand on Justin’s chest, above his rapidly beating heart.  “Slow breaths, Sunshine, come on.  Breathe with me.  In and out.  That’s it, just like that,” he said, coaching him through it.

After a few more minutes of this, Justin calmed, breathing slowly and evenly.  Brian kissed the top of his head, letting himself linger.

“Brian?” A small, scared voice called out.

“I’m right here, Sunshine.  I’m not going anywhere,” he answered.

Justin opened his bloodshot eyes, confused.  “He--I was there, and he--I couldn’t--”

“Shh, I know, I know.  It’s okay, you’re safe now.”   _You’re always safe with me._

Justin buried his head in Brian’s chest, letting his comforting scent wash over him.

Brian felt it when Justin fell asleep, and gently lifted him up to put him back in bed.  When he’d wrapped the blankets securely around him, he turned to their audience. “What happened?” he asked flatly.

Ethan answered shakily.  “We were sleeping and he started crying, so I tried to wake him up, but he just started screaming and kicking, so I called Daphne to see what I should do.”

Brian clenched his jaw.  “You don’t touch him when he’s having a nightmare.  If it happens again, just call me.”

“Why can’t I touch him?  I’m the one he’s with, why should I call you for anything?”

“Because he trusts me.”

Brian let the implications of his words hang in the air between them.  They all knew it was true: despite the fact that they were no longer together, Justin, in this state, still trusted Brian to take care of him.  He instinctively recognized Brian’s touch, and only when he felt and heard Brian would he calm down.

Brian was the only one who could help him.

Ethan nodded, accepting this, and moved back to the bed with Justin.  It felt wrong to Brian to let him so close to Justin, but he knew it wasn’t his place anymore.

He turned back to Daphne.  “Take me home,” he said.

She nodded, and they walked across the small apartment together.

A whimper came from the bed.  They turned and saw Justin crying again.  “Please don’t leave me,” he whispered.  His hands were shaking, eyes wild.  “I don’t want to see him again.  Please, Brian, make him go away.”

Brian walked back to the bed and put his hands on either side of Justin’s face, pressing their foreheads together.  “You know I could never leave you, Sunshine,” he whispered, so softly that only Justin could hear him.

“Make it go away, Brian, _please_ ,” Justin's voice broke, and Brian could feel his tears transferring onto his own cheeks.

The anguished plea was like a knife in Brian’s gut.  He longed to give Justin what he needed, what they both needed, but he knew that he couldn’t.  “Shh,” he whispered, giving Justin small, comforting kisses on his forehead, eyelids, and cheeks.  “You don’t have to worry about him anymore, Justin.  You know that, right?”

After a few seconds, Justin nodded.

“Tell me why,” Brian instructed.

Justin sniffed before answering.  “Because I have you.”

Brian smiled sadly.  “Good boy.  You get an A+.”

Justin laughed, and the sound was sweet torture.  Brian wrapped his arms around him, unable to resist holding him anymore.  “I’ll never let anything happen to you,” he said softly.

After a few more seconds of the two clinging to each other, Brian kissed his ear and pulled away.  He ignored Ethan, who was watching them stoically.  He watched Justin curl up again, this time facing away from Ethan, clutching a pillow to his chest.  Brian put a blanket up over his shoulders, standing there, staring at him.

“You can go now,” Ethan said, shattering the moment.

Brian nodded.  “Call me if he has another one.”

He walked out, not looking back.  Daphne followed, and took him home.

“I don’t understand you,” she said.

“Few do,” he replied.

“It’s obvious that you still love him.  Why won’t you fight for him?  You know he would choose you over Ethan any day.”

“I already fought for him, and I lost.  And if he were going to choose me, he wouldn’t be at Ian’s place right now.”

Daphne was silent for a moment.  “He doesn’t love him.  You know he could never love someone like that.”

Brian sighed.  “Yeah, I know.”

“Then why didn’t you take him home with you?  You could end this whole thing right now!”

He was quiet for moment.  “Because he needs to know it.”

“So by letting Justin cheat on you and leave you for Ethan, you’re teaching him a lesson?” she asked.

“Seems that way.”

She shook her head.  “Why can’t you two just be happy together?  Why all this?”

Brian swallowed, but didn’t say anything.  He looked out the window for the rest of the ride, unable to answer her.

He didn’t sleep when he got back to his loft.  He drank and raged and wallowed, seeing Justin everywhere he looked, smelling Justin on his shirt, hearing his musical laugh.

Fuck.

Justin was the only one who could turn Brian into a melodramatic lesbian.  Not that he would ever tell anyone, of course.

**Author's Note:**

> just noticed that there are tense changes like crazy, but i'm tired and don't feel like fixing it :/


End file.
